Merry Christmas!

I woke up and some form of illumination came through the window. It wasn't sunshine. It wasn't street lights. I think it was just dawn. A gray sort of dawn. This may not seem significant. And maybe it's not. But for some reason, it's simple things like that where I see God. And I love when those kind of moments are the first of my day. Merry Christmas.

We started the Christmas celebrating with a big meal. My parents, Emma, Hannah and Tony, my Grandma, and my aunt Liz all present. And myself. Hannah doesn't live at home anymore. Grandma's from California. I'm in and out of house. It was good to all be together. And it was fully everything "being together" should entail. There's part of humor that is best accentuated with those closest to you. We laugh a lot together. And it wouldn't be a real Kowatch experience if one of us didn't end up crying at some point. And one of us did, though I think it's unnecessary to specify which one.

We had the typical Christmas events... opening of presents, Christmas movies, food... We like to play games, whether it be cards or something like that. This year we played this sort of tag game, which would take entirely too long to explain. I will say that by the end, Hannah, Tony, Emma and I were sweaty and I sustained a floor burn on my arm and a bruise across the top of my foot. Worth it. So yes, typical Christmas celebration.

Among my favorite gifts... a book of poetry, "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lammott, yoga mat, electric tea kettle, a book of photography from Ireland, and arm warmers.

After evening, I went with Hannah and Tony to some friends' house. We sat drinking tea, talking, sitting silent, petting the dog, holding their 7 week old baby. Just being together. My heart felt calmed. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone who knows me that my mind has been full. Busy. Running. Even in a good way. Being around people and hearing their thoughts and lives soothes so much of me that feels a bit raw. Another amazing present of the day.

One place my thoughts are often... Jesus. The more I live life, small as that may be, the more I realize that what I believe is crucial. And not believing is not an option. We all believe something. But I'm staking all I've got on Jesus, or at least trying to. So I want to know everything about Him. I love Him. I'm fascinated by Him. I want to know. One thing I've been learning about Him is how to see Him. Sometimes I start looking at Him through lenses of what He's done for me... or who I've been told He is. When I start at the beginning, and just kinda introduce myself to Him, I think the vision is a bit clearer. Jesus was a man. He spoke of amazing life, new life. He spoke of peace. He taught of hardship and generousity. He claimed to be God. He upset people. He was killed. He surrendered Himself to it. He came back to life, showing to Himself to be greater than death. And now He is the fulfillment of every longing. He is salvation. He is freedom for all captivity. He is, and always has been, love. And I first met Him when He became a man. Jesus. My Jesus. What a beautiful name!

This is why Christmas is a big deal. It resonates.